Ask Us?
by B Rue
Summary: Eh, ask myself, Beyond Birthday, L, Near, and Mello questions. And now Matt. It'll make more sense inside. So read. Oh, and although this isn't inside, we will add another character every once in a while. Matt may come next
1. Chapter 1

**AU: So, yes. I have, indeed, seen multiple "ask whoever" stories, but decided to create my own. First fanfic on here. Go nuts. Flame, kill, review, whatever. (calls over Beyond Birthday, L, and Near.) We shall be answering your questions, if you decide to have any. I shall probably be updating every day/every other day. I have no life. So, I am B. Do not ask yaoi questions or anything above T rating.**

BB: Shut up.

B: No.

L and Near: (exchange exasperated looks.)

BB and B: (glare at said idiots.)

**Enjoy.**


	2. Chapter 2

**-skips in-  
'allo, My alias is Cain, and I've got some questions for you three...-grins evilly-  
ok, because he is everybody's favorite murderer, BB!  
BB: is it possible to climb walls using strawberry jam?  
L: Where the hell do you get your hair cut?  
Near: I just had to ask this- do you bleach your hair, or is it white naturally?  
and as for B. Rue~ -places a new pen and death note in her hands-  
do me a favor and write in Light's name in it or something. Misa would be a good choice, though.**

BB: Not that I know of, but I'll be sure to try it out. (grins wickedly) I'll get back to you on that. (runs off to try it)

L: I, uh, kinda do it myself… Is it bad? There is a 74% chance that I will not change it, even though people may not like it.

N: I am albino, so it is natural.

B: Hmmm… Very tempting, although, I would rather go to heaven, you know? (takes it and draws a picture, then turns and hands you $50 to write in it yourself)

**AU: I am glad that we have received our first review. So Cain shall get a reward. (Hands her a present) Tis a secret, inside. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Seems like this is finally moving along. (watches BB fall off the side of a building and laughs) Well, anyway, on to the questions.**

**If BB had a death note who would you kill and why?**

BB: Light Yagami. The bastard…

B: Don't give him any ideas.

L and Near: (slowly back away)

Near: Next question, anyone?

**Hello.  
B:I am JUST. LIKE. YOU! Maybe I'm your daughter! My habits(That match yours) :**

sits like L  
Thumb to mouth (OMG!)  
Has a need for revenge.(Same. (I HATE THOSE BULLIES!)  
Is obsessed with L.  
(I'm obsessed with B.)  
holds thing like L does.  
Talks like L  
Makes percentages...  
hunches.(Standing, sitting  
He crawled one time in the book.( I crawled on my bed, just looking for something. (Does that even count?!)

AM I YOUR DAUGHTER?! ITS POSSIBLE! POSSIBLE I SAY! *Acting like an insane psycho on a sugar rush* WE!~

Everyone besides B:  
Based on what I said to B, do I freak you guys out?! *Laughs like a mix of takano Miyo, Rena Ryuugu, Satoko Houjou and Shion Sonozaki* AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA! KYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

BB: Seems like I have fans.

L, Near, and B: (roll eyes behind his back)  
BB: Anyway, I haven't ever copulated. I am pretty sure you are not my daughter. An insane, crazed, stalker-ish fangirl? No offense. I am sure you are a… er, lovely person. (pats Yuzukira-chan on the head)

B: Next question.

**Hey! What's up? Okay, anyway.. to the questions! Okay:**

For Near: What was you're first toy?

For L: When did you first start sitting like that?

For B: Do you Hate Light? Because I DO! Oh, and Misa too!

For BB: ... I'm sorry. I really can't think of anything to ask you because I didn't read the LABB murder cases... So, RANDOM QUESTION!!  
Do you know, day is coming up?? Oh, and if you did, would you wear a green sparkly hat kinda like Micheal Jackson's? BECAUSE I WOULD! (And will) Sorry, went to random there. Oh well. From K!

Near: I'm not quite sure… I've had too many to remember, and I am fairly sure that Mello threw it in a lake.

L: I don't recall _not_ sitting like this. I always have, as far as I can remember.

B: Quite frankly, yes. I didn't when he went back to normal, but when he kills L and BB, yes. I shall get revenge for my predecessors.

BB: It is? No, I definitely will not wear a hat.

B: (points and laughs at BB)

BB: (throws a rock at B, which she dodges)

B: Anyway, thank you K.

**That is all for today… Maybe. Depends on the questions we'll get. The more reviews/questions, the faster we will update. (:**


	4. Chapter 4

**Aww, you people must really love me. :D**

**Well, probably not me. Just the characters. Which, for the record, I will be adding new ones for the next chapter. Time for voting.**

**So, Matt or Mello?**

**Near, L, Beyond, may I hug you all? Also, Beyond, How do you feel about all the L fangirls? In my opinion you pwn L. (sorry L!)**

Near, L, BB: (hugs)

BB: Eh, they're alright, until they figure out where he is…

L: (hits BB)

Near: On to the next question.

**Hey guys! It's me again! Okay, new q's!**

For B: Have you heard of United State of Pop 2009? It's a great song! And, Revenge is sweet, isn't it?

For L: If you could only have one type of sweet for the rest of you're life, what would it be and why?

For Near: Do you watch cartoons? Because I do! If you do, what's you're favorite?

For BB: What do you have against hats? Don't be hatin' the hat! And Will you wear green on St. Patricks day? Because, you know there's a lepperchaun, and- wait... PLEASE DON'T KILL THE LEPERCHAUN!

Yups, random Questions. (I mean it BB, don't kill him!) Anyway, From K!

B: I haven't ever heard of that in my life. But, if you wanna listen to an amusing song, here's one: Baby's Got Her Gun Out by Rediscover.

L: Hmm… First of all, why would I only be able to have one sweet for the rest of my life? And if I really had to choose, I suppose it would be strawberry cheesecake or strawberry shortcake.

BB: (throws all the cakes out the window and eats jam)

L: (tackles BB)

B: (laughs and cheers them on)

Near: (sighs)

Near: No, not really. I haven't had time, with the cases I've been working on.

BB: They mess up my hair.

B, Near, L: (laugh and giggle)

BB: (glares, then continues) Most likely not. I'll try not to kill him, for B's sake.

B: Next!

**Naomi told me different. She said you and her went to a bar once and she doesn't remember what happened that night!**

BB

1:Favorite color?

2:Any tips on killing people brutally and insanely? (I have my method right here! : Drug them, gag them and tie them up, stab them and make blood spurt everywhere, cut all their limbs off and drain them of all they're blood!)

3:I DARE YOU TO KILL LIGHT YAGAMI! I WANNA SEE HIM SUFFER! MAKE IT BRUTAL! (I must be mentally scarring some people!)

Everyone else:DO I CREEP YA OUT?! *Insane, cheshire cat smile and I laugh just like shion sonozaki, takano miyo and rena ryuugu all at the same time*

BB: The closest I have ever came to a bar with Naomi is when I attacked her in / near the alley. My favorite color is blood red. And I think I could do better, but they (looks at B, Near, and L) said don't say it. L also said no killing his friends, even if they had killed him.

Near, L: Try spending a day with B. She's worse than BB.

B: (grins)

L: Next question.

**CIAO~!  
'tis me, the weirdly evil little girl -cough-CAIN-cough-  
and Yuzukira chan freaked you out, ne? -tilts head- I sorta know her.  
-writes in death note- YAY!! -glompers the authoress- thankies!  
wow, now I'm rich and stuff.  
well not quite like L, but you get it.  
anyway, back to the questions!  
BB: Uwah, I'm glad your taking my advice! now, have you ever tried living with the tellytubbies for about a week? if not, can you go? here's some jam to keep you company, and perhaps you can kill them too. (hands you a huge jar of strawberry jam and a razor)  
L: hmm, in that case can you try to cut my hair? and for the question- has watari ever attempted to make you go to sleep by using med drugs?  
Near: where do you get your white pajamas? ( and I thought that alibinos had red eyes...)**

Everyone: Hello again, Cain.

B: Oh, and you're welcome. I love to bring people joy.

BB, Near, L: (laugh hysterically)

B: (rolls eyes)

BB: No, and I really would rather not try. But I'll take the jam. (grins)

L: I suppose I could try…

B: (hands L scissors)

L: Thank you. (cuts Cain-chan's hair) And yes, but he won't anymore. Last time he did, I slept for two weeks.

Near: Roger buys them for me, so I'm not quite sure where. Only albino animals have red eyes. Albino humans usually have blue or grey eyes. Use me or B for an example.

B: Not albino… Just abnormally pale… And I have brown hair!

L: You dyed it.

B: And?

Near: I hate to sound like Mello, but SHUT UP.

BB: (laughs)

**Well now, don't forget to vote for the character you want. Mello or Matt?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Seems that I'm only getting questions from the same people, and at that, one of them frightens me. Oh dear… And, since only one person asked questions for Matt or Mello, I shall choose. And it will be Mello. I'll add Matt soon, do not fear. Oh, and could someone please ask their friends to check this out? I am getting quite bored.**

**hehe Okay, new q's!**

For B: I loved the song! ausome! Oh, um Are you gonna go watch the Percy Jackson movie? *Random, i know*

For L: Um... What if the world BANNED strawberry shortcake and strawberry cheesecake? What would you do?

For Near: Poor you, but don't worry, your not missing anything. They took off all the good old cartoons! Anyway... Um... Would you wear the hat I described in Ch.3?

For BB: umm, uh... What's your favorite smiley face icon? *Well I couldn't think of anything! Sorry for my randomness!!

If Mello comes: Hello mello! (That ryhmed too! I'm not even trying!) OKay, what's your favorite type of chocolate?  
Dark, milk, white, or some other random kind I can't think of.

Anyway, love the story! Bye! From, K!

B: Yes. Yes I am. Haha. Also, try listening to Have Faith In Me, by A Day To Remember, or This Could Be Anywhere In the World by Alexisonfire. (I listen to wide varieties of music… Mainly screamo, electronica, and metal.)

L: I would make it myself. Or try. There is a 48% chance of me getting B to do it for me, though.

B: (throws a cookbook at L's head) World's best detectives, and can't even cook…

Near: Possibly.

B: Hooray, the albino sheep is gonna wear color! (tackles Near and hugs him)

Near: (blushes)

BB: (hits B upside the head) Can't find any good successors these days… Anyway, I suppose it would be…. Nah, I don't know. Never thought about it before.

Mello: (hits Near) Idiot… Milk chocolate. (looks at K) Why, do you have some?

B: (roundhouse kicks Mello, knocking him on top of Near and B) That did not work… shit…

Near: Next question.

**Hey, I only have a question for B and L. (Sorry, Near.)**

BB: May I please have a hug? And will you please explain your jam fixation? Oh, and these are yours! -hands BB jam and a knife-

L: Were you telling the truth when you said light was your first friend, or were you just faking the friendship thing? (My best friend asked me to say this one!)

Thanks,

Beyond Birthday

Near: (shrugs from underneath B and Mello)

BB: Hmmmmm…. Sure, why not. (hugs) Jam is good. Strawberry jam is best. It has sugar, and tastes fantastic. You should try it. (takes them and looks at you suspiciously)

B: (jumps up, pulling Near and Mello with me and takes BB's knife)

L: I was telling the truth, although we all know that Light did not return those feelings.

Mello: Next.

***Laughing for three minutes straight, evilly and insanely and sounds like I belong in some insane asylum where they lock me up forever, and I also sound like i am possessed (The Laugh) (But I'm not! I would know!) * Anyways! *Listens to Dane Cook, and laughs* *Hug BB* I AM PROBOBLY YOUR SISTER! Impossible. YOUR LITTLE COUSIN! *Glomps***

BB:

1:Mine is black. Are you a cannible? (I really don't believe the runor, but alot of people do.)

2:Do you really like me? (Friend, or anything.) *I pull off a depressed look*

3:*You notice ghosts of your victims* Do you think I'm strange? I rea;;y am alot different in reality.

4:Why do people hate me? My best friend threatens to call the insane asylum, and when they come, she will act like she doesn't even know me!

5:Do you like my Avi? I drew it myself using Paint(Dot)Net! ONLY!

6:Do you reccomend any songs? (Anything but country, rap and hip hop!)

B: (carefully puts duct tape over Yuzukira-chan's mouth)

BB: (grimaces) Dane Cook? Ew. And, as far as I know, or care, my family is dead, or consists of the people here, surprisingly.

B, Near, and L: Awwwwwww.

Mello: Ew.

BB: (dodges the glomping) I am not. That is disgusting, although I will admit, blood can taste sweet…

B: (kicks the back of BB's knee so he falls) Success!  
BB: That was a cheap shot. And, as a friend, sure.

B: We all think of the people here as friends. (pulls everyone into a big group hug, including Yuzukira-chan, K, Near, L, Mello, Cain, BB, and whoever else has asked questions here)

BB: You can be strange. I could kick her if you want. Doesn't seem like a great best friend. Those places are horrible. And I do like it, because it takes skills to draw on a computer like that.

Near: Not if you have a tablet, like B…

B: Nope, still takes skills.

BB: Check out the songs that B recommended in her first answer.

B: (ruffles Mello's and L's hair out of boredom, and puts an arm around the albino sheep boy)

**Do not question the strangeness of this. Eh, oh well. Go ahead and question it. And bring friends. :D** **Oh, and don't forget to ask Mello questions.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Well now, since B is off comforting her best friend, who is basically her sister in everything but blood, I shall do the greeting today.**

**L: I thought I was going to do it, Near.**

**Nope, I'm doing it.**

**BB: Where's B?**

**Helping her friend with her dad's funeral, although she can't go.**

**BB, L, and Mello: Oh. (R.I.P.)**

**Aww...you took BB's knife...that wasn't nice! You really shouldn't have done that... -gives BB fifteen lifetime supplies of jam, gives Near fifteen rooms filled with new toys (as an apology for not asking you a question the last time), gives L fifteen lifetime supplies of sweets.- Now, this time, I do have a question for Near, and BB and L as well!  
Near: What's your favorite type of music? And why do you like making Mello so mad in fanfics? (Just had to ask this, I want to know how you'll reply!)  
BB: I'm sorry the evil author took away your knife. I hope the jam makes up for it. If not, then you can complain to me through a reply to this review, and I'll try to make it up to you! -hugs- Now, my question for you is, besides the fact that you wanted to conquer L and surpass him, did you really enjoy killing? Tell the truth here, BB. I really want to know... -gives you a box- Don't let the author see that!  
L: Thanks for the answer, L-san. Now, if you really don't mind me asking, will you relinquish the title of L to BB? I really want to see what will happen if he's you for the day.**

Thanks for listening to the review. See you three later.

BEYOND BIRTHDAY

B: (comes back to answer any questions that come my way and such) Not gonna be too upbeat in this, although the others may be. (waves her hand vaguely in the other guy's direction)

BB, Near, and L: (takes the stuff) Thank you!

Mello: (goes and sits with B and eats chocolate)

Near: I suppose it would be electronica, or rock. It makes fangirls happy, especially ones that don't like me.

BB: She's not evil. They just don't trust me with a knife. The killing was entertaining, because I had always wondered what would happen if I had done those things. (takes the box and looks at you suspiciously)

L: No. He could ruin everything I've built up in my life in one day.

B: (nods in agreement then leans against Mello and falls asleep)

Near: Next question.

**Hi, i'm back!**

For B: Another Percy Jackson Q, Have you read the book?

For Mello: No! *Too quickly* ..What would you do If I did have some? Not that I have any! *Looks around suspiciously*

For BB: Why?

For Near: If you had to wear a color OTHER than white, what would it be?

And For L: Will you learn how to cook? Because Pretty soon People are going to stop doing things for you!

KK, that's it! From K!

B: (wakes up after Mello pokes her repeatedly) Nope. Haven't read it, surprisingly. Is it good?

Mello: (stares at K) Take it all and eat it.

BB: Why not?

B: (falls asleep with her head on Mello's lap)

Mello: (sighs) See kids? Even insomniacs and people with depression sleep sometimes.

Near: Uhhh…. Blue?  
L: I'll get Watari or B to teach me. Where will Watari be, though?

BB: On to the next question.

**Wow, now I have this image in my head of Roger walking around in Wal-Mart with a cart of nothing but white pj's... lol.**

Ah, I s'pose I'll ask some questions while I'm here:

everyone:

1- fave band/song? (Yeah, that's cliche'd and I know it. But I mean, no one else asked...)

2- Ninjas or pirates?

3- what's your take on... balloon animals? (...no comment.)

and 4- Converse or Vans? (go Converse!)

well... that was random enough. *clears throat and straightens tie* okay, I'll leave all you poor souls alone now...

~Chika-Chan \m/-_-\m/

BB: Mine and B's is Silverstein. Ninjas. No thank you. Vans, for B and I.

Near: Playradioplay. Ninjas. That is a weird question. Do I have to wear shoes? Converse.

L: I'm not sure. Ninjas. I agree with Near. I don't wear shoes.

Mello: Bullet for my Valentine. Pirates. Surprisingly, I also agree with Near. (glares at him) Converse boots, but if they are just the shoes, Vans. (pokes B's cheek)

BB: She'll bite you, you know.

Near and L: (laugh quietly)

L: Next question.

**I've got a question for Mello  
how do you feel about Matt's fans vs. yours? because I think it's kind of unfair you're in the series for much longer**

Mello: I know it is my fault that Matt died… (looks away) I do agree that it is unfair. I wish he was there more. He is my best friend.

**BB:**

1:T^T Thats so sad. **I AM SO SORRY! *Hugs* Oh, I have Strawberry jam in my refrigerator! Here! *Hands jam* Lately I've been obsessed with any food that is either really sweet, or anything like Strawberry jam! ^^" Aint I a weirdo?**

2:Thank GOODNESS! And yeah, I agree, blood can taste sweet! (The weird thing is, I have a tooth that looks a little like a fang!) Do you realize that some people think of you as a (Insert what Misa called L when she was imprisoned for fifty days, and called L a Name that started with a 'P') because two of your victims were Female? Weird huh?

3:YESH! *_* (I am a major fan, and am obsessed with DEATH NOTE!) Anyway *Coughs* do you suggest any Anime/Manga thats PG and under? (My mom doesn't want me watching PG13 for some reason. . . )

4:Please don't. Me and her are like Sisters! She has also been sick for a week. Anyways, I agree, those places are probably the worst! (I suprisingly have avoided them my whole life!) Thank you! Anyway, would you like to see some of my Death Note fanart, inclueding a Genderswitch for the novel Another Note? *Laughs* THE MENTAL IMAGES STILL MAKE ME LAUGH OF WHAT YOUR VICTIMS WOULD SAY! (As in, in the picture:You, Believe Bridesmaid, Quarter Queen and Backyard Bottomslash)

BB: (eats the jam) Nope. I don't think I am a pervert. It's not like I'd do anything to a thirteen year old girl. Quite frankly, I am a virgin.

Mello: (laughs quietly)

BB: (throws the empty jam jar at his head)

Near: (catches it) Do you want to wake B up?

BB: Anyway…Pokémon! Yeah, I only watch Death Note and Pokémon. So sue me. So has B, so far. She's actually only fourteen, but still. Not sure I could see any deviantart pictures on this computer.

L: It's blocked. It's B's school laptop.

BB: Not quite sure I'd want to see… That would scare me.

Mello: (picks up B) Well, close it up, L.

L: Alright.

**Well, considering that B is probably asleep for the next two hours, I'll close this up for her. Review. Ask questions. And if you respect our sanity, and what's left of BB's, ask Mello questions.**


	7. Fail I'm Sorry

**Excuse: Sorry, I really haven't been up to updating this. Have no fear, because it is a weekend. That means I have time to do this. Meanwhile, read my new story? The one with the longest title? Please? No? Alright. If you do, you get a cookie. And maybe ice-cream. :D**


	8. Chapter 8

**Well now, my other story that, quite frankly, I am favoring much more than this one, is caught up chapter-wise with this, I decided to continue.**

**Everyone: (cheers)**

**BB: You made me sound like an ass.**

**Mello: I'm boring in it.**

**Matt: I love you. :3**

**Near: I am boring, too.**

**L: I'd rather be boring than dead. (pouts)**

**B: (gives L cake, Mello chocolate, and Near a box of black and white dominos) I will fix the kinks all in due time, my friends… All in due time… Anyway, on with the questions… Wait, this isn't even a qu–**

**BB: Ooooh, look! It's for me!**

**Enjoy them all, you three. (BB, there's another knife in there, hide it from the author!) Just wanted to say that. Later.**

BB: Why thank you.

**BB:**

I don't have a Deviant account. My mom does! But anyways:

1:I don't think of you as that either! ^-^ I can't believe some people do! YOUR BETTER THAN THAT! DON'T YOU AGREE!?

2:I've seen both. Oh! I found out about Akazukin ChaCha! (Sorry if I didn't spell that right) Anyway, What would you say if I had an OC who would Love to have a little 'Talk' with you when she has a gun handy? (She wants revenge. I LOVE YOU! DON'T HATE MEH!)

3:Do you think I have Psychosis? (I think like a person with Psychosis. I SHOULD KNOW.)

BB: Ummm… yes? I forgot what we were talking about, sorry. (gives you a cookie and a strawberry) And, as for your OC, would you be mad if she mysteriously died in a room locked from the inside? I'm not sure if I know you well enough to judge that, due to the fact that it is a mental disorder about hearing, seeing, smelling, or tasting things that aren't there. I only really know what it is because B is schizophrenic. (rubs hand on the back of head awkwardly)

B: (feels awkward)

Near: …Next question.

**You guys don't like balloon animals? That is such a a shame. *shakes head* But anywho...**

Mello: If you *had* to get something pierced, what would it be?

L: because everyone wants to know... is that guyliner? *laughs*

Near: Your hair would be so easy to dye. What would you do if it somehow got dyed rainbow?

BB: I... don't really have a question for you. *shrug* sorry.

~Chika-Chan

Mello: I'd get snakebites. (points at his lower lip)

L: No, actually, it is not. You'd have to ask Beyond about guyliner. (smirks)

BB: (tackles him and they somehow get into an epic Jedi battle)

Near: I would get B to fix it. Ex: bleaching it all out and getting white hair die to return it to normal. No, I do not dye my hair, for anyone that reads this.

BB: (shrugs) Whatever floats your boat, sugarbritches.

B: O.o you sound like my brother, dude.

BB: Don't care.

**Well now, that was odd. And yes, I really am schizophrenic. Please do not let that affect your view of me. And, for the record, I am not trying to gain pity. Hate that shit.**

**Matt: Watch your mouth.**

**Pshh. Oh, and BB, I didn't know you could think about or like psychosis. That's really interesting, actually.**

**BB: Yeah, she's a pretty interesting person.**

**Yep. Anyway. That is all I have for today.**


End file.
